A Time to Pause and Reflect

One will have to be living in a cave not to feel the impact of COVID-19. The world for the first time in a long time has come to a standstill. Things we once took for granted have become more meaningful as we stay indoors to protect ourselves and our loved ones. All over the world, we realise now how we are all in the same boat. Fear is alive and well in the hearts of many.

Personally, this is like a second round of reflection this year. At the end of February, I was forced to take a week off from work due to ill health. I was compelled to deal with my fear of death. I came out of the experience with more profound gratitude for life.

I spent that week away, mostly sleeping and reflecting. I had no strength to do more than that. The next week, I resumed work. However, I quickly realised that while I had recovered physically, my mental capacity was still playing catch-up.

Let me confess now; I was afraid, sincerely afraid of the future if things did not change. It was then it hit me, how important the brain is and how the whole body depends on it. I was barely able to accomplish anything at work that week. Simple questions left me confused. I had trouble with basic navigation; getting to work became a significant effort.

My prayers each morning was God; please restore my health. I had taken my health for granted and for the first time, I was experiencing my brain not working at it’s optimum, and I was a mess. I need my brain to function well in my work as a writer. I work on many projects at a time. I thought what if this is permanent what would happen to me?

Yet somehow I felt this peace that came over me. I knew then that although I had no answers that God was still in control. Thank God after a few more days of rest, my brain was back. I wanted to throw a party, that’s how excited I was.

Then weeks later, the fears about COVID began to become more serious. Just like that, the world as I knew it changed. One minute I was going to work in a crazy and super busy city like Lagos. The next we were all home. No more going to Church or parties.

Thankfully I am not bored. I have a lot of work to do from home. I also have my projects to accomplish. The problem is I have become too busy again. I need to find time to reflect. So when the light fails to come on, I am seizing those opportunities to read books that I bought a year ago but never got the chance to enjoy.

I am learning not to complain as much but to find ways around to do as much as I can. I am spending time in prayer praying for our hurting world. I am pleading with God to have mercy on us. Life as we know it may never be the same, but I don’t want to give in to fear. I believe this a time to be strong in the Lord. This a time when our faith will be tested. I am hoping that we will come out refined and better than we were.

It took me a long time to write this article. There are so many scary messages out there. The news headlines are scary. It is tempting to sit in despair and wail and give up. But one thing I have learnt in my life so far. That it is in the horrible and terrible times that God is often working unseen behind the scenes. He starts the work in our hearts, making us see things more deeply and more transparently than we did during the good times or the busy times.

My prayer for you this Holy Week when we remember Christ’s death and resurrection, is that you appreciate more deeply the Love of God towards you. I also pray for a renewing of your mind and that we all find ways to show our love to those in need.